The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine
By Deborah Wuehler, TOS Senior Editor
June 29, 2011
I ask myself this question, not once a year, but nearly every week: "When will I ever get to homeschool the way I want to?" I'd be the best homeschool teacher if it weren't for (fill in the blank: difficult interruptions/difficult finances/difficult children/friends who do it better/spouses who aren't supportive, etc.).
Should I give up if I can't afford that perfect curriculum, or what if I have it and can't implement it every day? Should I quit because I can't do the extra classes and field trips right now? Should I think of another alternative because my kids are always whining or bickering? What about those all-too-often family emergencies that interrupt the schedule? And what about that necessary part-time job that keeps me busy-shouldn't I give up on this homeschooling business?
So many things get in the way of me having that perfect homeschool setting I dream about. So many LIFE things. Instead of asking, "When will I ever get to homeschool the way I want to?" we should probably be asking, "When will life be perfect enough to let me do things the way I want them done so I can feel successful?" The answer is: maybe never. And guess what? There is freedom in that.
Instead of looking at everyday life as an "obstacle" to finally getting to do what we want to do, we need to look at the obstacles as part of the life God intended for us to live, and teach around those. It's how we live THAT life that brings glory to the One Who designed it. However, that does not release us from properly planning our ways and keeping unnecessary distractions at bay.
We should definitely start each school year praying, "God, what do you have for me and the children this year?" and then we should follow that plan as much as we can. Then, we should have a daily prayer of, "God, what do you have for me and the children today?" Then, instead of feeling like we've failed when interruptions come, we can rejoice in the fact that everything that happens out of our control is under His control.
Don't give up. Don't give in. Start again and again. Little by little, day by day, we keep it at. Why? Because we are the ones that God designed to teach our children. He didn't give the responsibility of that job to any other but you. What the Lord wills for you, He provides for you.
And, the alternatives are not worth it. The high percentage of children leaving their faith is staggering. Hold on to the hearts of your children while you can. Home is best. Home is where you belong. Home is where they belong.
"Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain: Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that." James 4:13-15
~Deborah
TOS Senior Editor
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
What is God Telling Me?
From http://www.housetohouse.com/HTHPubPage.aspx?pub=2&issue=16§ion=329&article=440
What is God telling me with the problems He permits in my life? The problems we face will either defeat us or develop us, depending on how we respond to them. Unfortunately, most people fail to see how God wants to use problems for good in their lives. They react foolishly and resent their problems rather than pausing to consider what benefit they might bring.
Here are five ways God wants to use the problems in our lives:
1. God uses problems to DIRECT us. Sometimes God must light a fire under us to get us moving. Problems often point us in a new direction and motivate us to change our ways (Proverbs 20:30).
2. God uses problems to INSPECT us. People are like tea bags. If you want to know what's inside them, just drop them into hot water! Has God ever tested your faith with a problem? What do problems reveal about you? 'My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience' (James 1:2-3).
3. God uses problems to CORRECT us. Some lessons we learn only through pain and failure. It's likely that as a child our parents told us not to touch a hot stove, but we probably learned by being burned. Sometimes we only learn the value of something like health, money, or a relationship by losing it. 'My lips shall utter praise, when thou hast taught me thy statutes. My tongue shall speak of thy word: for all thy commandments are righteousness' (Psalm 119:71-72).
4. God uses problems to PROTECT us. A problem can be a blessing in disguise if it prevents you from being harmed by something more serious. Last year a friend was fired for refusing to do something unethical that his boss had asked him to do. His unemployment was a problem-but it saved him from being convicted and sent to prison a year later when management's actions were eventually discovered. '... ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good ...' (Genesis 50:20).
5. God uses problems to PERFECT us. Problems, when responded to correctly, are character builders. God is far more interested in your character than your comfort. Your relationship to God and your character are the only two things you're going to take with you into eternity. 'And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope' (Romans 5:3-4).
Here's the point: God is at work in our lives-even when you do not recognize it or understand it. However, it is much easier and profitable when you cooperate with Him.
What is God telling me with the problems He permits in my life? The problems we face will either defeat us or develop us, depending on how we respond to them. Unfortunately, most people fail to see how God wants to use problems for good in their lives. They react foolishly and resent their problems rather than pausing to consider what benefit they might bring.
Here are five ways God wants to use the problems in our lives:
1. God uses problems to DIRECT us. Sometimes God must light a fire under us to get us moving. Problems often point us in a new direction and motivate us to change our ways (Proverbs 20:30).
2. God uses problems to INSPECT us. People are like tea bags. If you want to know what's inside them, just drop them into hot water! Has God ever tested your faith with a problem? What do problems reveal about you? 'My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience' (James 1:2-3).
3. God uses problems to CORRECT us. Some lessons we learn only through pain and failure. It's likely that as a child our parents told us not to touch a hot stove, but we probably learned by being burned. Sometimes we only learn the value of something like health, money, or a relationship by losing it. 'My lips shall utter praise, when thou hast taught me thy statutes. My tongue shall speak of thy word: for all thy commandments are righteousness' (Psalm 119:71-72).
4. God uses problems to PROTECT us. A problem can be a blessing in disguise if it prevents you from being harmed by something more serious. Last year a friend was fired for refusing to do something unethical that his boss had asked him to do. His unemployment was a problem-but it saved him from being convicted and sent to prison a year later when management's actions were eventually discovered. '... ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good ...' (Genesis 50:20).
5. God uses problems to PERFECT us. Problems, when responded to correctly, are character builders. God is far more interested in your character than your comfort. Your relationship to God and your character are the only two things you're going to take with you into eternity. 'And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope' (Romans 5:3-4).
Here's the point: God is at work in our lives-even when you do not recognize it or understand it. However, it is much easier and profitable when you cooperate with Him.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Raise the Bar
There are many different kinds of contests. There are spelling contests, sports contests, Miss America contests, and so on. But life is not a popularity contest. Especially the life of a Christian who truly desires to please our Lord. Our journey here on this earth is not about popularity. If that were the case, then some of us would lose.
We would lose because our life goal and purpose is not to please our fellow man. Our primary purpose is to please our Lord God Almighty. And honestly, this viewpoint is not very popular.
Some will see this devotion to our Creator as an act of self-righteousness, a holier-than-thou attitude. Some who have this devotion will be treated unfairly, reputations will be damaged, and people will be hurt deliberately by brothers and sisters in Christ. There will be those who spitefully use you and persecute you. Trust and respect will be lost.
Christians should always try to be the example as Paul instructs Timothy in 1 Timothy 4.12. "(Let no one despise your youth, but) be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity." We are trying to "raise the bar". As children of God called out of the world, we must strive to maintain a higher standard with our lives, our speech, and the way we treat our fellow man, especially our brethren.
Jesus teaches in Matthew 7. 13-14:“Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it." We are told that the way to eternal life will be difficult and few will find it.
Jesus also tells us in that same chapter, verses 21-23: “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’ "
Many believe that this is talking about denominations. I wonder if it is not talking about people who profess to be Christians, people who believe themselves to be children of God, but don't realize that they keep one foot planted squarely in the world.
I strive with my life to be able to face my Savior on Judgment Day to hear him say: ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; … Enter into the joy of your lord.’ Will you be able do the same?
I challenge you to RAISE THE BAR!
We would lose because our life goal and purpose is not to please our fellow man. Our primary purpose is to please our Lord God Almighty. And honestly, this viewpoint is not very popular.
Some will see this devotion to our Creator as an act of self-righteousness, a holier-than-thou attitude. Some who have this devotion will be treated unfairly, reputations will be damaged, and people will be hurt deliberately by brothers and sisters in Christ. There will be those who spitefully use you and persecute you. Trust and respect will be lost.
Christians should always try to be the example as Paul instructs Timothy in 1 Timothy 4.12. "(Let no one despise your youth, but) be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity." We are trying to "raise the bar". As children of God called out of the world, we must strive to maintain a higher standard with our lives, our speech, and the way we treat our fellow man, especially our brethren.
Jesus teaches in Matthew 7. 13-14:“Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it." We are told that the way to eternal life will be difficult and few will find it.
Jesus also tells us in that same chapter, verses 21-23: “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’ "
Many believe that this is talking about denominations. I wonder if it is not talking about people who profess to be Christians, people who believe themselves to be children of God, but don't realize that they keep one foot planted squarely in the world.
I strive with my life to be able to face my Savior on Judgment Day to hear him say: ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; … Enter into the joy of your lord.’ Will you be able do the same?
I challenge you to RAISE THE BAR!
Balance
Balance requires examination of priorities. Our true priorities are not mere lists of activities completed or goals set, but honest reflections of our heart desires. What we consider important receives the most time, energy, attention and resources. The importance of right and balanced priorities is illustrated by the life of Martha.
Luke 10:38 Now as they went on their way, he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.
Jesus knew that He was always welcome in the home of Martha. He often went to Bethany, to the house of Martha, Mary and Lazarus, and even spent His final week on earth there. Jesus didn't have to wonder if He was welcome in this home or if Martha was "ready" for His presence. He knew she was. Can He say the same about us?
Seeking God begins with recognizing who He is and then living our life for Him. If He is not Lord of all, then He is not Lord at all. For some of us, the problem is not that we lack a personal relationship with God. Our problem is that we are not "making room" for that relationship. Balance comes when we yield to His will in the everyday moments of life.
I have discovered that when my life and my heart get too crowded there is not enough room for God. An unbalanced life is too busy for God. It is so easy to relegate our spirituality to religious activities when all He really wants is to spend time with us. Do we have the heart of a seeker, one who lives each day aware of God's presence, His plan and His priorities?
We often surrender control of our life to unworthy demands dictated by a world that operates in "urgent" gear. We forget what is really important. The important rarely barges in while the urgent is always an offensive intruder. The important waits patiently while the urgent demands its own way, creating disorder and imbalance. Certainly, there are times when the important is also urgent - but we must learn to discriminate between the two. We wrongly conclude that a busy life is automatically a productive life and think that a full schedule will surely produce a full heart.
Are you ready to evaluate your life according to God's priorities? Determine the top five priorities of your life - right now. Take a deep breath and brutally examine your calendar and checkbook to see where you spend most of your time and resources. We can give lip service to what we think our priorities should be but until our daily schedule reflects those priorities, we are only "playing at life."
Monday, November 29, 2010
Designed to Teach the Young About Modesty
I Tim. 4:12 NKJV " Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity."
Paul instructed Timothy to be an example in spite of his young age. Timothy was to be an example in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, and in purity. Our youth should learn to be an example as well. But how can they be an example unless they are taught?
Our heavenly Father, the Master Designer, has planned for us to teach our children about modesty, morality, and Christian values. If we, as parents, don't teach our children, their peers and our worldly society will.
The Bible gives examples of both positive and negative parental influence on the character development of children. One positive example is that of Abraham. In Genesis 18.19 the Lord spoke of Abraham: "For I have chosen him, so that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD..." Abraham was to teach his children and his household.
Joshua is another godly example. Joshua 24:15 "If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD." As Joshua pleaded with the Israelites to give up idolatry, he committed to follow what God commands, for himself and for his family.
In the New Testament, we have Timothy as an example of how children can be influenced in a positive way by parents. We know that Timothy was taught the Scripture and righteous living from childhood by his mother and his grandmother.
On the other hand, Eli is an example of how parents can be a negative influence their children.
"Now the sons of Eli were worthless men; they did not know the LORD." (1 Samuel 2.12) "In that day I will carry out against Eli all that I have spoken concerning his house, from beginning to end. "For I have told him that I am about to judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons brought a curse on themselves and he did not rebuke them." (1 Samuel 3.12-13) We know that these sons of Eli were Nadab and Abihu, and that even though Eli was a godly man, his sons were not. It seems that Eli didn't teach and discipline his sons properly. Is it possible that Eli was too busy with his "work" as high priest to raise his sons to be righteous?
With the Bible to guide us, one might wonder why Christians struggle to teach our children about modesty and morality. The fact of the matter is that our changing society has caused a decline in parental influence in the spiritual and moral development of children.
Wayne Jackson proclaims in the Christian Courier: "the farther youngsters are removed from parental proximity, the less likely it is that they will be molded by the benevolent influence of father and mother."
Our society began to change in a major way with the Industrial Revolution. Before the Industrial Revolution families were mostly rural and children usually helped on the family farms for much of the day. Parents and children were in close contact most of the time. With the Industrial Revolution, however, many fathers sought work in the cities, leaving the mothers home to care for the children. This change lessened the influence of the father.
This trend continued with the two world wars and other military conflicts. These events not only took fathers out of the homes for months on end, but also many mothers went to work in factories. Thus, children experienced an increased lack of parental guidance, since the parents were absent a great amount of the time.
In more modern times a large number of families have two working parents to provide for increased material needs and wants. Now days, most families cannot or choose not to live off the father's income alone. As a result, children are left to be raised more by teachers and babysitters than by mother and father.
The increasing rate of divorce is another means by which parents spend less time with their children, bouncing them back and forth between households. Add to this the worldly influence of public education, and the ungodly influence of TV, internet, and other media.
One celebrity that many of our young girls have come to admire is Miley Cyrus. Many of you first really came to know her as Hannah Montana. As she has grown up, her look and her music has taken on a more...mature…look and sound. Listen as I read for you lyrics from the title song from her latest album, Can't Be Tamed:
Miley Cyrus - “Can’t Be Tamed” Lyrics
For those who don’t know me, I can get a bit crazy Have to get my way, 24 hours a day ‘Cause I’m hot like that
Every guy everywhere just gives me mad attention Like I’m under inspection, I always get the 10s ‘Cause I’m built like that
I go through guys like money flyin’ out their hands They try to change me but they realize they can’t
And every tomorrow is a day I never planned If you’re gonna be my man, understand
(Chorus) I can’t be tamed, I can’t be saved I can’t be blamed, I can’t, can’t
This is what our very young girls are being exposed to in our society today. Is this what you want your daughter to think? Do we want our daughters to develop these attitudes toward young men? Do we want our girls to dress and behave like this young woman?
The result of the influence of our current society is this: Children are learning about modesty and morality from the areas which command the majority of their time.
The Bible teaches that parents are to teach their children to live a righteous life.
In a recent issue of the Gospel Journal Curtis Cates tells us, "The responsibility of the home in rearing children cannot be relegated to outsiders; it belongs exclusively to the parents."
The Apostle Paul speaks to fathers in Ephesians 6.4, and mothers ought to heed this as well: " And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord." (NKJ) The New American Standard Bible puts it this way: that parents are to raise their children "in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." We, as parents, are to teach and discipline our children according to the Bible.
In Deuteronomy 6.6-7 the Israelites were directed to teach their children diligently "when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up."
We all know Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it." As Wayne Jackson puts it, "proper education involves molding the child so that when he is mature enough to make his own decisions, he will want to make the proper ones."
We should be teaching our children to value spiritual beauty and biblical modesty rather than fashion trends and worldly values. Teach your daughters to have strength and dignity as the worthy woman in Proverbs 31.
Listen to the Apostle Peter as he instructs wives, who also have the responsibility of teaching our young girls to have chaste and respectful behavior:"Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God." (verses 3-4)
Paul teaches that women are to have modest appearance and godly behavior in his first letter to Timothy: "Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness." (2.9-10)
If we want our children to please the Lord, then we should be teaching them to wear clothing that is modest and discreet. We should be teaching them good works and godly, respectful behavior.
So at what age should we start teaching them?
Consider, for a moment, an infant. Can they understand what we are trying to teach them about modesty and respectful behavior? Of course not. What about a toddler? Will they comprehend how to keep their bodies clothed properly? No. Think about the preschooler. Are they aware of clothing and appearances? Do they know something about honorable and godly behavior? I, personally, am convinced that they are beginning to understand by this age.
Around three years old is an ideal time to instill in our children that obedience to their parents and what the Bible teaches is pleasing to God, and that disrespect toward Mom or Dad is not honorable. This age is also an excellent age to start teaching our girls that dresses and shorts can be too short and that tops can show too much skin. We can also teach our boys at this age that going shirtless is immodest, Let's please not forget that boys need instruction in modest dress and behavior too!
Even while engaging in summer water-play, children can wear modest shirts and shorts over their swimsuits. Teach your children that modest behavior and clothing while swimming is not just for bible camp. Mixed swimming with others who are dressed immodestly is not appropriate. Even if you are dressed in modest and unrevealing clothing, most of the other swimmers will not be. Your children should not be encouraged to look on others who are immodest. Honestly, is it wise to take them to the public pool, the water park, or a crowded beach, even when they are little? Do you really believe they will know that it is wrong when they turn 16, 17, or 18?
Are we naïve enough to think that young men will not have improper thoughts about our daughters when they go to these places? Do you really want to be responsible for causing your young daughters and sons to stumble? It all starts when they are very little.
In my work with children I have seen little girls wearing such inappropriate clothing like off-the-shoulder tops and mini skirts that show their underwear when they sit down. I have heard a mother say of a new swimsuit she bought for her 4 year old daughter, "I like it because it looks so sexy on her!" I have heard children talk back to their parents and hit their mothers because they didn't get what they wanted. I have heard mothers beg their children to obey.
These children don't understand the inappropriateness of some clothing and certain behaviors because they have not been taught. They behave the way they do because we, as parents, don't correct their offensive behavior. Many parents don't even recognize the behavior as undesirable and give few real consequences. Children wear clothing that we, as parents, buy them. They wear the styles that we, as the adults that are charged to guide them, let them keep in their closets.
Wouldn't it be better to teach children how to be modest when they are young rather than try to turn them around after they become teenagers?
I also know of a young girl, about the age of 5, who told her mother, "I can't wear this dress any more because it's too short. The hem comes to my knee." Likewise, I know of girls who, when choosing clothing, have asked, "Does this shirt show too much of my shoulders?" The mothers of these children do not worry about what their daughters will be wearing when they become teenagers. It may be hard to find long shorts and long-enough dresses in the stores, but girls taught properly won't even be interested in the current fashions that are not modest.
I know from personal experience that a person can wear jeans and long pants all throughout the summer, even as far south as Texas, without melting! All it takes is the proper state of mind and the desire to do what is right in God's eyes...no matter what.
Listen to some valuable words of wisdom from our trusted brother, Curtis Cates: "A parent must realize the critical responsibility of rearing, training, those eternal souls who are placed in his hands." Parents should teach "children to have the courage of their convictions, teaching the sons manhood and the daughters womanhood as described in the Bible."
It is my fervent prayer that you parents will teach your children about character, morality, and modesty while they are young, that you will give them a firm foundation before our worldly society teaches them differently.
I invite you…each one of you…to join me and other faithful women to have the courage to be that example that God would have us to be to the other women and girls in your lives.
Paul instructed Timothy to be an example in spite of his young age. Timothy was to be an example in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, and in purity. Our youth should learn to be an example as well. But how can they be an example unless they are taught?
Our heavenly Father, the Master Designer, has planned for us to teach our children about modesty, morality, and Christian values. If we, as parents, don't teach our children, their peers and our worldly society will.
The Bible gives examples of both positive and negative parental influence on the character development of children. One positive example is that of Abraham. In Genesis 18.19 the Lord spoke of Abraham: "For I have chosen him, so that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD..." Abraham was to teach his children and his household.
Joshua is another godly example. Joshua 24:15 "If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD." As Joshua pleaded with the Israelites to give up idolatry, he committed to follow what God commands, for himself and for his family.
In the New Testament, we have Timothy as an example of how children can be influenced in a positive way by parents. We know that Timothy was taught the Scripture and righteous living from childhood by his mother and his grandmother.
On the other hand, Eli is an example of how parents can be a negative influence their children.
"Now the sons of Eli were worthless men; they did not know the LORD." (1 Samuel 2.12) "In that day I will carry out against Eli all that I have spoken concerning his house, from beginning to end. "For I have told him that I am about to judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons brought a curse on themselves and he did not rebuke them." (1 Samuel 3.12-13) We know that these sons of Eli were Nadab and Abihu, and that even though Eli was a godly man, his sons were not. It seems that Eli didn't teach and discipline his sons properly. Is it possible that Eli was too busy with his "work" as high priest to raise his sons to be righteous?
With the Bible to guide us, one might wonder why Christians struggle to teach our children about modesty and morality. The fact of the matter is that our changing society has caused a decline in parental influence in the spiritual and moral development of children.
Wayne Jackson proclaims in the Christian Courier: "the farther youngsters are removed from parental proximity, the less likely it is that they will be molded by the benevolent influence of father and mother."
Our society began to change in a major way with the Industrial Revolution. Before the Industrial Revolution families were mostly rural and children usually helped on the family farms for much of the day. Parents and children were in close contact most of the time. With the Industrial Revolution, however, many fathers sought work in the cities, leaving the mothers home to care for the children. This change lessened the influence of the father.
This trend continued with the two world wars and other military conflicts. These events not only took fathers out of the homes for months on end, but also many mothers went to work in factories. Thus, children experienced an increased lack of parental guidance, since the parents were absent a great amount of the time.
In more modern times a large number of families have two working parents to provide for increased material needs and wants. Now days, most families cannot or choose not to live off the father's income alone. As a result, children are left to be raised more by teachers and babysitters than by mother and father.
The increasing rate of divorce is another means by which parents spend less time with their children, bouncing them back and forth between households. Add to this the worldly influence of public education, and the ungodly influence of TV, internet, and other media.
One celebrity that many of our young girls have come to admire is Miley Cyrus. Many of you first really came to know her as Hannah Montana. As she has grown up, her look and her music has taken on a more...mature…look and sound. Listen as I read for you lyrics from the title song from her latest album, Can't Be Tamed:
Miley Cyrus - “Can’t Be Tamed” Lyrics
For those who don’t know me, I can get a bit crazy Have to get my way, 24 hours a day ‘Cause I’m hot like that
Every guy everywhere just gives me mad attention Like I’m under inspection, I always get the 10s ‘Cause I’m built like that
I go through guys like money flyin’ out their hands They try to change me but they realize they can’t
And every tomorrow is a day I never planned If you’re gonna be my man, understand
(Chorus) I can’t be tamed, I can’t be saved I can’t be blamed, I can’t, can’t
This is what our very young girls are being exposed to in our society today. Is this what you want your daughter to think? Do we want our daughters to develop these attitudes toward young men? Do we want our girls to dress and behave like this young woman?
The result of the influence of our current society is this: Children are learning about modesty and morality from the areas which command the majority of their time.
The Bible teaches that parents are to teach their children to live a righteous life.
In a recent issue of the Gospel Journal Curtis Cates tells us, "The responsibility of the home in rearing children cannot be relegated to outsiders; it belongs exclusively to the parents."
The Apostle Paul speaks to fathers in Ephesians 6.4, and mothers ought to heed this as well: " And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord." (NKJ) The New American Standard Bible puts it this way: that parents are to raise their children "in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." We, as parents, are to teach and discipline our children according to the Bible.
In Deuteronomy 6.6-7 the Israelites were directed to teach their children diligently "when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up."
We all know Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it." As Wayne Jackson puts it, "proper education involves molding the child so that when he is mature enough to make his own decisions, he will want to make the proper ones."
We should be teaching our children to value spiritual beauty and biblical modesty rather than fashion trends and worldly values. Teach your daughters to have strength and dignity as the worthy woman in Proverbs 31.
Listen to the Apostle Peter as he instructs wives, who also have the responsibility of teaching our young girls to have chaste and respectful behavior:"Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God." (verses 3-4)
Paul teaches that women are to have modest appearance and godly behavior in his first letter to Timothy: "Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness." (2.9-10)
If we want our children to please the Lord, then we should be teaching them to wear clothing that is modest and discreet. We should be teaching them good works and godly, respectful behavior.
So at what age should we start teaching them?
Consider, for a moment, an infant. Can they understand what we are trying to teach them about modesty and respectful behavior? Of course not. What about a toddler? Will they comprehend how to keep their bodies clothed properly? No. Think about the preschooler. Are they aware of clothing and appearances? Do they know something about honorable and godly behavior? I, personally, am convinced that they are beginning to understand by this age.
Around three years old is an ideal time to instill in our children that obedience to their parents and what the Bible teaches is pleasing to God, and that disrespect toward Mom or Dad is not honorable. This age is also an excellent age to start teaching our girls that dresses and shorts can be too short and that tops can show too much skin. We can also teach our boys at this age that going shirtless is immodest, Let's please not forget that boys need instruction in modest dress and behavior too!
Even while engaging in summer water-play, children can wear modest shirts and shorts over their swimsuits. Teach your children that modest behavior and clothing while swimming is not just for bible camp. Mixed swimming with others who are dressed immodestly is not appropriate. Even if you are dressed in modest and unrevealing clothing, most of the other swimmers will not be. Your children should not be encouraged to look on others who are immodest. Honestly, is it wise to take them to the public pool, the water park, or a crowded beach, even when they are little? Do you really believe they will know that it is wrong when they turn 16, 17, or 18?
Are we naïve enough to think that young men will not have improper thoughts about our daughters when they go to these places? Do you really want to be responsible for causing your young daughters and sons to stumble? It all starts when they are very little.
In my work with children I have seen little girls wearing such inappropriate clothing like off-the-shoulder tops and mini skirts that show their underwear when they sit down. I have heard a mother say of a new swimsuit she bought for her 4 year old daughter, "I like it because it looks so sexy on her!" I have heard children talk back to their parents and hit their mothers because they didn't get what they wanted. I have heard mothers beg their children to obey.
These children don't understand the inappropriateness of some clothing and certain behaviors because they have not been taught. They behave the way they do because we, as parents, don't correct their offensive behavior. Many parents don't even recognize the behavior as undesirable and give few real consequences. Children wear clothing that we, as parents, buy them. They wear the styles that we, as the adults that are charged to guide them, let them keep in their closets.
Wouldn't it be better to teach children how to be modest when they are young rather than try to turn them around after they become teenagers?
I also know of a young girl, about the age of 5, who told her mother, "I can't wear this dress any more because it's too short. The hem comes to my knee." Likewise, I know of girls who, when choosing clothing, have asked, "Does this shirt show too much of my shoulders?" The mothers of these children do not worry about what their daughters will be wearing when they become teenagers. It may be hard to find long shorts and long-enough dresses in the stores, but girls taught properly won't even be interested in the current fashions that are not modest.
I know from personal experience that a person can wear jeans and long pants all throughout the summer, even as far south as Texas, without melting! All it takes is the proper state of mind and the desire to do what is right in God's eyes...no matter what.
Listen to some valuable words of wisdom from our trusted brother, Curtis Cates: "A parent must realize the critical responsibility of rearing, training, those eternal souls who are placed in his hands." Parents should teach "children to have the courage of their convictions, teaching the sons manhood and the daughters womanhood as described in the Bible."
It is my fervent prayer that you parents will teach your children about character, morality, and modesty while they are young, that you will give them a firm foundation before our worldly society teaches them differently.
I invite you…each one of you…to join me and other faithful women to have the courage to be that example that God would have us to be to the other women and girls in your lives.
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